Macaron

I just said something it never occurred to me I might actually say. 

“Macarons are on my bucket list of baking.”

Weird things to say, but, also, it’s true.  I like baking, don’t bake often, but I like doing it.  Now, macarons are something that I’ve been thinking of making for many years and just never got around to trying. But I will.

Right now I’m watching Bake Off: The Professionals, and I am stunned each week how good those guys are – even the ones who end up going home. 

And it’s chocolate week.  So, you know, bye!

Brownie Mood

Mental health has taken a downturn today, and I’ve really struggled to see myself or anything I do in a positive light.

Finished work feeling quite crappy.  This is no one’s fault, it’s a factor of my mental health issues. I’ve just taken a downturn for no apparent reason.  My ankle is still aching today, and feeling down might be linked to that. The headache I’ve developed almost certainly isn’t improving my mood either.

Been trying to write for over an hour now, and it’s not working, so I decided to move away from it.  Yesterday I only managed about 100 words, and they weren’t good ones. As a result, I feel I should do more tonight.  And will try again later.

What is improving my mood, is the smell of chocolate brownies cooking in my kitchen.  My daughter wanted to make some ages ago, so I brought a mix because flour wasn’t available, so I pushed her into actually making them today.  I feel the need for cake.

Cake helps – at least until I get on the scales, then it really doesn’t.

Well that’s it for now. Will let you know tomorrow if the brownies turned out well. Like there’s any doubt – they’re brownies!

Powerless

Like a lot of writers I often feel that I’m going to found out as rubbish, that I don’t deserve to the title author (despite repeated publishing contracts). Such voices are also part and parcel of my depression, the constant negative voice that I can never be good enough.

It’s a debilitating way to think about yourself. Leaves you powerless and vulnerable. Anyway, this morning I stumbled on an article about the syndrome, I found it very interesting. Here it is if you want a read:

https://makeitultrapsychology.wordpress.com/2020/04/26/how-to-identify-overcome-the-imposter-syndrome/

Yesterday, more by luck then anything, my husband actually managed to get hold of a bag plain flour! Yay! Baking time.

The plan was to make eclairs. I got all the ingredients out, put the oven on, started heated the water (salted by then), went to weigh the butter. The weighing scales briefly showed the code “Lo” then wouldn’t do anything. The batteries were dead. So I checked for spare batteries, and found the card for the type I needed – only to discover it was empty. Since I don’t have an alternative scale, there was no way for me to weigh the ingredients and I’m really not that good at guessing.

Another supermarket trip was required, so we managed to get more of the right batteries, got them home, put them in the scales – and nothing happened! It seemed the scales had died completely. Even my hubby had a look – after claiming that I’d put the battery in the wrong way around – loved that reaction, as you might imagine. But he couldn’t get it working either.

Turns out there was a sticker on the back of the battery, once that was removed the scales worked perfectly. By then I was wasn’t in the mood for baking.

So, powerless today, but baking tomorrow.