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Inattention

Today did not go as planned. It wasn’t a great plan so it doesn’t exactly matter, but that failure makes me feel worthless and undisciplined.

I intended to get up early, do a fitness video, have a bath, then get on with editing and usual pottering about.

I got up about 11:30, didn’t exercise, did get properly dressed though, then some editing and pottering.  I even did the self-care of soak in the bath, but only after my husband went on night shift and then I came straight to bed. I intended to be laptop free tonight, but stuff spilled over and I had to write a blog. This and taking the multivitamins have become the structure of my day.

Today I’ve been trying to get some stuff sorted on a forum, with limited success.  Failed though to add a document to a post.  Couldn’t figure out why, so messaged the site developer.  He did something and told me to try again. I did and it all went the same as the first time. Then I noticed and realised I am an idiot.  I was trying to attach a .docx document – but the site doesn’t accept that format.  After changing it to .rtf I attached the document no problem.  In other words, had I actually read what was on the screen I would have got it right first time.

Of course, the what I’ve said is something that I have to stop. I am not an idiot, I am not worthless nor am I undisciplined. I must stop saying negative things about myself. In truth I wasn’t paying enough attention, wasn’t in the moment. That’s something I am going to have to work on paying attention rather than paying just about enough attention. Mindfulness apps I will investigate.

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