Down, Down

Deeper and down.

That’s where I am today. Really wanted every post to be a more positive one, but today has been a struggle. I’ve cried at the drop of a hat. Am barely functional.

I’ve ended up watching TV, mostly “Picard”, because I’m a bit of a trekker. Then “Rhod Gilbert and The Cat That Looked Like Nicholas Lyndhurst”.  I cried through both and felt like a total plonker for doing so.

I picked the Rhod Gilbert because I enjoy his shows, find him very funny. Thought that it would lift my mood, but I cried at several points, barely raised a laugh at all.  Except the bit at the end when he talked about his radio show in Wales. I’ve occasionally listened to that too.

If you’re at all squeamish, don’t read the rest of this, just know that I’m going to do my best to be more positive tomorrow.

The results of the multivitamins etc that I’ve started taking are leading to bit of loo lottery. Doubtless some  will complain that this is too graphic, but it’s an experience that I’ve had, and if anyone takes this route (with medical advice, of course) it’s worth being prepared because the first time this happened to me, I wasn’t.

Bathroom visits get interesting from an artistic point of view (if your tastes run to Damien Hurst or Gunther Von Hagens’ plasticised anatomy tableaus).  I take multivitamins in the form of an effervescent drink. The drink is bright yellow – so is the urine it produces.  I still haven’t stopped bleeding, so the drops, rivers, of red are no surprise. Then there’s the iron tablets, they turn faeces black. As unpleasant as this is, it’s worth knowing – otherwise it might give a scare when it’s least needed.