Stupid

Today has not been the best. I am so sick of the selfishiness of the general population.  The First Ministers of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland have all said that lockdown is to continue for another three weeks, and that idiot Prime Minister of England loosens everything, leading to confusion and to the stupid breaking lockdown for the rest of us. Never mind that over 30,000 people have died in the first wave and that the second wave is bound to be worse.

Since I’ve only been out of the house to go to Tesco for the last week, went for a walk with my hubby today.  Usual route, not too many people out.  Most – but not all – giving space.   Got home and sat down, then dozed on the sofa.  It’s not like me to have an afternoon nap, which is a stupid move because it tends to mean that I won’t sleep tonight, but there again I have been awake since four this morning. 

I didn’t want to be, I just was, and I got up with a sore throat. My sinuses filled with hay fever, and the only eye has been running all day.  Luckily, I recognise that this is hay fever nothing more serious.  I did take the vitamins, (and eventually an antihistamine), got dressed, and sat down to write. I’ve managed 2k words today, which is a good achievement.

Looking forward

I find myself unfocused at the moment. I’m struggling to do anything much. Still taking my vitamins, managing at least 30 mins activity a day (long walk today) and am eating well.  Though that last isn’t true right this second because I’m eating a Fudge. I’ve been trying to write, but can’t get over a certain bump.

Was listening to Jeremy Vine at lunchtime, as I often do, one topic was what are people looking forward to when we come out of lockdown.  As I listened to what people were saying, I found that I didn’t share any of the things others were looking forward to.

I don’t want to go to:

• a pub – never been a major fan.
• a restaurant – I enjoy a meal out, but I’m not missing them and it’ll be a while before I’ll trust to sit in a restaurant, but a drive through I’d do.
• a sporting event – never have.
• a concert – only ever been to 15 in total, so not in a hurry to go to no 16.
• the theatre – well not much, I do rather enjoy a good comedy show, but again not in any hurry to be amongst that many people.

Eventually I figured out the only thing I am looking forward to, and it so fits maintaining social distancing.  I do want to go out in the campervan. To park near the sea, watch the waves. To park on a mountain, listen to the breeze, hell I’d even enjoy listening to the beating rain if I had a decent view, or rather a different view.

I guess we’re all looking forward to different things, and we all have a different point at which we’re prepared to do risk doing those things. 

Wonder what the new ‘normal’ will look like.

First Step

Went back to the GP today.

Things you need to understand are that I’ve had depression for years, and been anaemic for years. There is a probable relationship between my anaemia and certain gynaecological problems, not the least of which extremely heavy periods. I’m also a woman of a ‘certain’ age, so there are other things I need to take into consideration (e.g. avoiding osteoporosis)

I’m revealing this to evidence that there’s never just one thing, and so you’re aware that I have tried lots of things. Lots of things which have had varying levels of success.

So, I went to the GP and as I expected, I cannot be prescribed anti-depressants.  This is an oddity of my reaction to medication – it’s so extreme that even the mildest anti-depressant has a total zombification affect on me. I lose the ability to function and I don’t want to do that.

As an alternative, I’ve been researching natural routes to healing.  So, I’ve started with something we can all do – looking at what I eat and drink. Changing a way of life isn’t easy and won’t be an instant turn around, but I need to take the first step.

I decided to start by researching vitamins and minerals to help alleviate depression and anaemia and the foods they are in.

Of course, the quickest route with this is to start taking supplements, so I have. I’ve selected a multivitamin, additional Vitamin D (missing from multivit) and Brewer’s Yeast.  I’ve known a long time that vitamins need each other for best absorption so a multivitamin is always a good place to start.

NOTE: This is not medical advice. If you are prescribed anti-depressants, take them. I can’t so I’m trying this. Don’t follow suit without talking to your doctor’s advice.