writers | The Write Route

For a recent challenge were we asked to tell of a time when we pretended to be something or someone we’re not. So here’s what I thought.

Pretending to be someone I’m not, huh?

Me?

Do that?

At first I wondered if I could think of one instance, then several jumped to mind. Who doesn’t pretend, at least a little to be something they’re not in a job interview?

Then I thought again.

May the answer is, who doesn’t pretend?

Who really knows exactly who they are? There are some terrible sayings that do the rounds all the time that made me think, like: If life is a monkey tree, the one at the top looks down and sees monkeys; the one at the bottom looks up as sees arseholes.

Everyone looks at someone and thinks they are a moron. This, if true, would make everyone a moron. But how many people have you met who admit being a moron? The human brain will kindly filter from our memories the small moments of moronic behaviour and we will deliberately forget the big moments when we actually caught ourselves being morons. If we didn’t we wouldn’t be able to live with ourselves – slashed wrist all round anybody? No? Then be glad we all pretend to ourselves that we are someone we are not.

But maybe that’s too flippant, so I thought again, and realised that the answer an honest isn’t actually that hard to find.

Do I pretend to be something I’m not? Hell yeah, pretty much every day. Many times a day in fact, at some really odd and occasionally inappropriate moments each day.

Maybe I’ll be a fighter, or a lover, a killer or maybe a cop, a scientist, a botanist, a homemaker or not. Sometimes I’m the perpetrator, sometimes the victim. I don’t know what it feels like to actively take a life. I don’t know what smells like to encounter death. I don’t know what a bomb looks like or how one explodes. But I have to pretend I know those things to do what I do. So I do.

I pretend to be someone I’m not more than I face up to the reality of being me. I even have whole conversations with myself.

Don’t worry, I’m not bonkers, I’m a writer – actually maybe I am bonkers. Whenever I’m writing or plotting or editing, I have to pretend to be the person that I’m writing about or plotting for, though it’s harder with the editing to become the person someone else wrote about, still it has to be done.

Do I pretend to be something I’m not? Of course I do, don’t you?

Spent way too much at Cardiff Comic Con today, but that’s what comes of (a) liking comics, (b) liking books, and (c) having a fan-girl daughter.

Walked through the main floor, only lost the family twice in the melee, and was rather disappointed not to find the Lou Scannon comic stand. I’ve got all issues so far, and was hoping to get the next. But the stand was not to be found. Photo-loving fan-girl was busy clicking plenty of the Cos-play costumes and some of the attendees had really gone to town on their appearance, well done to all of them. A little disappointed, we went out for lunch, at which point fan-girl daughter, mentioned that all the games and comic stands had been up to the first floor, something that I hadn’t know.

Refreshed after launch we trudged back to the CIA and eventually found the stairs up, and there was a whole plethora of various original comic book sales, artists and authors. And bang in the middle, Lou Scannon.

Well, Lou Scannon’s usual three suspects anyway, Dan Harris (co-writer and pencils), Kris Carter (co-writer, colourist and letterer) and Jim Bampfield (co-writer, back-up strip artist and assistant shader).

The good thing about the separate area were that it was quieter and less packed that the more ‘merch’ oriented ground floor, which meant that there was actually time, room and volume control to talk to the guys.

To Hull And Back, issue 7 isn’t ready yet so no copies to buy, slap on the wrist for that, though proofs were in and the two cover designs do look great. The GTA version is cleaner, but the other is up to the usual high standards. I could order No 7 from the web site (which would make a change from Boots – but that’s a reference for Crysta and the girls). Thing is, I have brought every other copy at various shows over the years and they are all cover signed by the guys, I can’t break that loop now and will simply have to wait till the next conf, though unfortunately I can’t make Wrexham at the end of the month.

Had an interesting chat with Dan, who had given up the day job of drawing indelibly on human skin (he was a tatoo artist before anyone gets any creep ideas), to become a full time illustrator. I was rather surprised and pleased to discover we both like Micheal Turner’s work, that’s Witchblade, Fathom and Soulfire to name but three. He also mentioned that they might be starting off a KickStarter project, can’t give any details away, so I asked if they had a mailing list to announce when it was happening and almost saw that classic comic moment when the light bulb went on over Dan’s head saying, ‘we should have a mailing list to let people know what’s happening!’

After a bit more wandering, I stopped at Victor Wright’s stall to have a look at his novels, and be mocked by fan-girl daughter for not being able to read the small print without my glasses on. Okay I know, age doesn’t come alone.

Anyway, brought the first two of his “Light of Darkness” series. Impressed by the quality of the finished article, I also had a chat and some interesting pointers for self-publishing my own work – really must get my butt in gear and get on with that.

My eye was then caught by “Bearlands” a collection of comics based in the post apocalyptic world of undead teddy bears. The real ‘live’ teddy’s Jeremy Biggs had on display were just so cute!

Lastly, which was actually the first purchase, I also picked up “Soft Target”, a Sarah Stone Adventure, by Ian Rob Wright.

So, four books and no trip to Waterstones or Amazon. All I have to do now, is find the time to read them!

If you want to find out more about any of the titles here are the websites, but remember, I like these books and lots of other books, but some of these are graphic and can be unpleasant, there, you were warned, I am not responsible for any upset or offence you might find:

http://www.louscannon.co.uk

http://www.victorsbooks.co.uk

http://www.subversivecomics.com

http://www.iainrobwright.com