A Lucky Woman

I am White – luck of birth

I am English – luck of birth

I am able-bodied – luck of birth

I had a Comprehensive Education – luck of birth, country, and hard work

I have a degree – luck of hard work

I am in full time in employment – luck of hard work

I am married – luck and work

I have published novels – luck of hard work

I have contracts for publishing more novels – luck of hard work

I am known as a good baker – luck of hard work (and a few baker’s secrets)

I have a comfortable home – luck of hard work

 

I have two wonderful, intelligent, capable, talented children who I hope will one day be able to say the above too.

I also have depression, that’s the luck of birth too.  I look in the mirror and I don’t like the woman I see, that’s depression and mental conditioning that is hard to overcome, and I fight that battle every day.  The downsides of the condition are terrible, but the upside is that when I’m up, I am up, and I can see how lucky I am to have all the luck I have in my life, the things, the achievements and the people, which was why I started making this list.  Also, so I remember this list.

Sometimes I will act, and be, an insensitive, selfish, privileged jerk who doesn’t understand the difficulties that others go through every day of their lives, on account of I am lucky to be privileged and I don’t always see that. I’ve never been rich or beautiful or famous, probably never will be, but I’ve never been brutally attacked, I’ve never been shouted at in the street for having the ‘wrong’ colour skin, I’ve never been barred from doing anything because I have a visible physical disability.  So forgive me if I don’t instantly get it, not being a jerk is another daily battle I don’t always win.  I try to do better, and because the people around me make it worthwhile.  So if you see me “not getting it”, give me a mental slap and an explanation, because I am working on it.

Because I’ve been lucky.

And because as I heard quoted today “The harder I work, the luckier I become.”

 

(and to all my writing/editing pals – I know sentences shouldn’t start with conjunctions, but tough – it’s common usage init)

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